I've never been big on exercise. I know..terrible habit and bad example for my girls. Lately, however, with all the stress in my life and health issues I realized how much I need an outlet. I did have a time in my life (prior to marriage and children) where I went to the gym every morning before work. It was the best I felt in my life. I lost weight but overall felt really good about myself. Since kids...it's been a bit harder.
So..yesterday I did a workout with my 4 year old. I loved it! Although I couldn't do a lot of the workout due to hurting wrists, I felt like I was setting a great example for her. Today..on my lunch break, I took advantage of the free gym in my office building and I went down and hopped on the elipical for 25 minutes and ran 1.3 miles. Not much, but considering how out of shape I am..I'll say that wasn't bad. (I'll admit that I am very self consious about exercising in front of people and may or may not have cut my running short by 5 minutes due to two people chatting it up in the gym)
I also found out from my blog friend Kelly at Laugh Out Loud that if you download the runBsx app on your phone, they will dontate $10 if you run 26.2 miles by May 17th. So..after I ran my 1.3 miles, I downloaded the app and my goal is to raise $10 for someone. It's not a lot of money, but it may be just the motivation that I need to get myself moving.
Happy Running!!!
Apr 23, 2013
Apr 15, 2013
Lord, I'm Amazed
Yesterday I attended a beautiful wedding ceremony. The honor and glory given to the Lord was just amazing. This morning, as pandora played on my computer the song Amazed came on. It was truly a perfect song so I thought I would share and let everyone reflect on just how much God loves each of us. Just as many marriage vows promise to love in good times and bad..so does our Lord. He walks next to each of us and carries us when we just can't walk any longer.
At this point in my life..I know that I am being carried by my precious Jesus. I truly stand amazed at his love for me..in good times and in bad...even when I give up and say "I just can't do this any more!" My life shouldn't be about "me doing" anything. It should be about how the Lord is working in my life and how He is getting me thru the challenges of every day life.
So Lord..once again I stand amazed. Amazed at all you've done for me and all you continue to do for me...for walking with me every day..for healing my hurts one by one..for carrying me when I'm weak.
Amazed
At this point in my life..I know that I am being carried by my precious Jesus. I truly stand amazed at his love for me..in good times and in bad...even when I give up and say "I just can't do this any more!" My life shouldn't be about "me doing" anything. It should be about how the Lord is working in my life and how He is getting me thru the challenges of every day life.
So Lord..once again I stand amazed. Amazed at all you've done for me and all you continue to do for me...for walking with me every day..for healing my hurts one by one..for carrying me when I'm weak.
Amazed
Mar 20, 2013
Evaluation on Friends
Self evaluation is something I've been spending a lot of time on lately. I'm not particularly happy with areas of my life and am always trying to find ways to make myself better. One area that I've been thinking about lately (well more like for the past several years) is that I really don't know that I have anyone in my life that I would call a "true" friend.
Sure, I've had plenty of people that at one point or another I would consider friends, but the friendships never last and I am left feeling shattered; feeling like I give my all in a relationship but feeling that my all just isn't good enough for people to see beyond my faults (and lets face it..we all have faults.) Is that normal? Somehow I don't feel like it is.
When I was younger, I had a lot more confidence in myself, but over time I think that I have been holding onto things that people, who at one point were considered friends, have said to me and I have allowed their words to shape who I am. You know that whole saying "sticks and stones may break my bones but words will never hurt me." Yea right! Not in my world. Words "friends" have said to me have rocked me to the core and their words still repeat over and over in my head to this day, even though we are no longer "friends." And those words...hurt..deeply.
So..how do you get yourself over something that someone has said to you? Something that you know in your heart is not true. Is forgiveness the root of that? How do you move on with your life and stop expecting people to do their worst against you because of your fear of repeating the past? How do you trust that the working mother of two that you will meet tomorrow will be the nicest and best friend you will ever have?
Sure, I've had plenty of people that at one point or another I would consider friends, but the friendships never last and I am left feeling shattered; feeling like I give my all in a relationship but feeling that my all just isn't good enough for people to see beyond my faults (and lets face it..we all have faults.) Is that normal? Somehow I don't feel like it is.
When I was younger, I had a lot more confidence in myself, but over time I think that I have been holding onto things that people, who at one point were considered friends, have said to me and I have allowed their words to shape who I am. You know that whole saying "sticks and stones may break my bones but words will never hurt me." Yea right! Not in my world. Words "friends" have said to me have rocked me to the core and their words still repeat over and over in my head to this day, even though we are no longer "friends." And those words...hurt..deeply.
So..how do you get yourself over something that someone has said to you? Something that you know in your heart is not true. Is forgiveness the root of that? How do you move on with your life and stop expecting people to do their worst against you because of your fear of repeating the past? How do you trust that the working mother of two that you will meet tomorrow will be the nicest and best friend you will ever have?
Mar 12, 2013
G.E.R.D.
G.E.R.D - otherwise known as Gastroesophageal reflux disease. I have it...and it stinks. Basically..my stomach makes too much acid and that acid leaks back into my esophagus. (Acid reflux) The hard part is that I don't alway have burning in my throat, but mainly just feel like I'm going to throw up, all.the.time! Fun...I know.
Anyways...I've been told by my doctor that I may need to be placed on anxiety medication because the stress and anxiety of my current situation will make matters in my belly worse. Nice. (Ok..side note.....not only did I turn 30 this year..but with it..I had to get blood work done for the first time in my life..I have GERD and now I may need anxiety medicine? What the heck! 30's you are not starting off too well)
So..today I found a list of all the foods to avoid, and I now feel like I'm going to starve. According to Web MD I need to avoid the following:
But..in an attempt to make me better, I will take my prescription antacids (I now feel like I'm 90 years old) everyday and I will avoid these certain foods that will cause my belly to hurt. I'm hoping...praying that I don't drop too much weight...although I expect to. Most people would want to drop weight..but I am very, tiny to begin with and would feel I would look very unhealthy if I lost more weight. For my girls sake though, I need to. They deserve a mommy who can play with them instead of a mommy who feels horrible all the time and just wants to sit.
Any healthy tips are appreciated!
Anyways...I've been told by my doctor that I may need to be placed on anxiety medication because the stress and anxiety of my current situation will make matters in my belly worse. Nice. (Ok..side note.....not only did I turn 30 this year..but with it..I had to get blood work done for the first time in my life..I have GERD and now I may need anxiety medicine? What the heck! 30's you are not starting off too well)
So..today I found a list of all the foods to avoid, and I now feel like I'm going to starve. According to Web MD I need to avoid the following:
- Meats. Ground beef, marbled sirloin, chicken nugget-style, and chicken/buffalo wings.
- Fats, Oils & Sweets. Chocolate, regular corn and potato chips, high-fat butter cookies, brownies, doughnuts, creamy and oily salad dressings, fried or fatty food in general.
- Fruits, Vegetables & Juice. Orange juice, lemon, lemonade, grapefruit juice, cranberry juice, tomato, mashed potatoes, French fries, raw onion, potato salad.
- Other Beverages. Liquor, wine, coffee, and tea.
- Grains. Macaroni and cheese, spaghetti with marinara sauce.
- Dairy. Sour cream, milk shake, ice cream, regular cottage cheese.
But..in an attempt to make me better, I will take my prescription antacids (I now feel like I'm 90 years old) everyday and I will avoid these certain foods that will cause my belly to hurt. I'm hoping...praying that I don't drop too much weight...although I expect to. Most people would want to drop weight..but I am very, tiny to begin with and would feel I would look very unhealthy if I lost more weight. For my girls sake though, I need to. They deserve a mommy who can play with them instead of a mommy who feels horrible all the time and just wants to sit.
Any healthy tips are appreciated!
Mar 11, 2013
Today is a day....
Matthew 11:30 - "For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light." (ESV)
Today is a day when I feel like a complete failure at everything I do. I failed with my kids before 6:30am, I failed as a wife by complaining to my husband by 6:45am, I failed as an employee by making someone else upset by my actions and lets face it...wishing I didn't even have to come into this place. It's a day where I wonder why the heck God would even put me on this earth if all I do is let people down.
The irony in this is that last night I was just explaining to my husband that I don't trust people. I have been hurt by so many people in my life that I tend to automatically think the worst in every situation. I feel like I've been let down and today...I'm being tested. Today...I feel like I'm the one letting everyone down.
I have so much on my shoulders right now. With my husband in night school, the responsibility of keeping up with the house and kids are left to me...just me. And I'm a bit OCD when it comes to my home...it MUST be spotless...all.the.time. (talk about unnecessary self-inflicted pressure)
Today is a day where I feel like I can't hold myself up; where I realize that I just can't do it on my own, no matter how strong I am.
Today is a day when I just want to go back to bed.
BUT
Today is a day that I WILL lean on Jesus for His yoke is easy and His burden is light. HE is strong enough to carry me through this day and all the responsbility that comes with it and the days to come. HE is strong enough to get me through feeding two small kids after a long day at work. HE is strong enough to make sure they are bathed and cleaned and tucked into bed safely. HE is strong enough to help me pack lunches and fold the load of lanudry in the dryer. HE will carry me through the next year...day by day..hour by hour..minute by minute. HE will find simple ways to make me laugh when I just want to cry.
Today is a day...that I will choose to surrender to Him! I will choose to trust Him! Because lets face it...HE, my wonderful Lord, will never let me down.
Today is a day when I feel like a complete failure at everything I do. I failed with my kids before 6:30am, I failed as a wife by complaining to my husband by 6:45am, I failed as an employee by making someone else upset by my actions and lets face it...wishing I didn't even have to come into this place. It's a day where I wonder why the heck God would even put me on this earth if all I do is let people down.
The irony in this is that last night I was just explaining to my husband that I don't trust people. I have been hurt by so many people in my life that I tend to automatically think the worst in every situation. I feel like I've been let down and today...I'm being tested. Today...I feel like I'm the one letting everyone down.
I have so much on my shoulders right now. With my husband in night school, the responsibility of keeping up with the house and kids are left to me...just me. And I'm a bit OCD when it comes to my home...it MUST be spotless...all.the.time. (talk about unnecessary self-inflicted pressure)
Today is a day where I feel like I can't hold myself up; where I realize that I just can't do it on my own, no matter how strong I am.
Today is a day when I just want to go back to bed.
BUT
Today is a day that I WILL lean on Jesus for His yoke is easy and His burden is light. HE is strong enough to carry me through this day and all the responsbility that comes with it and the days to come. HE is strong enough to get me through feeding two small kids after a long day at work. HE is strong enough to make sure they are bathed and cleaned and tucked into bed safely. HE is strong enough to help me pack lunches and fold the load of lanudry in the dryer. HE will carry me through the next year...day by day..hour by hour..minute by minute. HE will find simple ways to make me laugh when I just want to cry.
Today is a day...that I will choose to surrender to Him! I will choose to trust Him! Because lets face it...HE, my wonderful Lord, will never let me down.
Feb 25, 2013
Confessions from a mama with a 4 year old...girl.
I'll confess...I'm struggling. I work full time and my hubby works during the day and goes to school at night...so Monday through Thursday...this mama is basically alone with the kiddos. So...I'm going to start writing...in hopes that I will give me an outlet to relieve some stress.
My day starts at 5:30 when my hubby leaves for work and I get up to get showered. I get my oldest up at 6:15 to start getting ready for the day and by 7..I'm screaming because I have to leave for work and she is still sitting there while my 17 month old daughter is glued to me drinking her bottle. (I may laugh at this scene one day...but right now..it's not funny)
After work..it's pick the kiddos up get them home, feed them, bathe them, get them to bed and then make lunches, iron clothes, clean up the mess that was created in the 2 hours that we were home for and eventually...around 9 crawl into bed out of exhaustion. There is time for exercise...but honestly I don't do it because I'm just too blasted tired. So..on top of everything...I feel fat (even though I am far from it) and lazy.
My 4 year old is a good kid. She is...honestly. BUT...she tries my patience and pushes every single limit that there is. I feel like my brain is going to explode from screaming in the mornings just to get out of the door. No matter what I do...she just doesn't want to do what I ask.
It's me...I know it is. Daddy doesn't have these issues when he is around. (And of course having daddy tell me that it's partially my fault just makes me angry) The mother daughter relationship can be great...and it can be horrible. She will be fine all day long for other people...I walk in the door and it's instant melt down before I even speak two words.
So my question is how.in.the.heck do you get a 4 year old to obey? Because this mama is going to commit herself to an institution if something doesn't change...fast. (just kidding...but seriously..we do need some adjustments in our home now that daddy isn't around much) How...can I make my life any easier...or more organized.
My day starts at 5:30 when my hubby leaves for work and I get up to get showered. I get my oldest up at 6:15 to start getting ready for the day and by 7..I'm screaming because I have to leave for work and she is still sitting there while my 17 month old daughter is glued to me drinking her bottle. (I may laugh at this scene one day...but right now..it's not funny)
After work..it's pick the kiddos up get them home, feed them, bathe them, get them to bed and then make lunches, iron clothes, clean up the mess that was created in the 2 hours that we were home for and eventually...around 9 crawl into bed out of exhaustion. There is time for exercise...but honestly I don't do it because I'm just too blasted tired. So..on top of everything...I feel fat (even though I am far from it) and lazy.
My 4 year old is a good kid. She is...honestly. BUT...she tries my patience and pushes every single limit that there is. I feel like my brain is going to explode from screaming in the mornings just to get out of the door. No matter what I do...she just doesn't want to do what I ask.
It's me...I know it is. Daddy doesn't have these issues when he is around. (And of course having daddy tell me that it's partially my fault just makes me angry) The mother daughter relationship can be great...and it can be horrible. She will be fine all day long for other people...I walk in the door and it's instant melt down before I even speak two words.
So my question is how.in.the.heck do you get a 4 year old to obey? Because this mama is going to commit herself to an institution if something doesn't change...fast. (just kidding...but seriously..we do need some adjustments in our home now that daddy isn't around much) How...can I make my life any easier...or more organized.
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