Matthew 11:30 - "For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light." (ESV)
Today is a day when I feel like a complete failure at everything I do. I failed with my kids before 6:30am, I failed as a wife by complaining to my husband by 6:45am, I failed as an employee by making someone else upset by my actions and lets face it...wishing I didn't even have to come into this place. It's a day where I wonder why the heck God would even put me on this earth if all I do is let people down.
The irony in this is that last night I was just explaining to my husband that I don't trust people. I have been hurt by so many people in my life that I tend to automatically think the worst in every situation. I feel like I've been let down and today...I'm being tested. Today...I feel like I'm the one letting everyone down.
I have so much on my shoulders right now. With my husband in night school, the responsibility of keeping up with the house and kids are left to me...just me. And I'm a bit OCD when it comes to my home...it MUST be spotless...all.the.time. (talk about unnecessary self-inflicted pressure)
Today is a day where I feel like I can't hold myself up; where I realize that I just can't do it on my own, no matter how strong I am.
Today is a day when I just want to go back to bed.
BUT
Today is a day that I WILL lean on Jesus for His yoke is easy and His burden is light. HE is strong enough to carry me through this day and all the responsbility that comes with it and the days to come. HE is strong enough to get me through feeding two small kids after a long day at work. HE is strong enough to make sure they are bathed and cleaned and tucked into bed safely. HE is strong enough to help me pack lunches and fold the load of lanudry in the dryer. HE will carry me through the next year...day by day..hour by hour..minute by minute. HE will find simple ways to make me laugh when I just want to cry.
Today is a day...that I will choose to surrender to Him! I will choose to trust Him! Because lets face it...HE, my wonderful Lord, will never let me down.
hey chris! I know we haven't talked in a long, long time--but I just want to say, I am sure you are doing amazing with your kids. I bet it's super hard to do it alone most nights. I hope you get the rest you need and can enjoy the sweet little moments with your girls.
ReplyDeleteThanks Katie! Being a single mom all week is exhausting. I've been sick for most of 2013 so far from being run down. But...I know this is where God has lead Phil and I know in my heart it will pay off in the long run.
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