Self evaluation is something I've been spending a lot of time on lately. I'm not particularly happy with areas of my life and am always trying to find ways to make myself better. One area that I've been thinking about lately (well more like for the past several years) is that I really don't know that I have anyone in my life that I would call a "true" friend.
Sure, I've had plenty of people that at one point or another I would consider friends, but the friendships never last and I am left feeling shattered; feeling like I give my all in a relationship but feeling that my all just isn't good enough for people to see beyond my faults (and lets face it..we all have faults.) Is that normal? Somehow I don't feel like it is.
When I was younger, I had a lot more confidence in myself, but over time I think that I have been holding onto things that people, who at one point were considered friends, have said to me and I have allowed their words to shape who I am. You know that whole saying "sticks and stones may break my bones but words will never hurt me." Yea right! Not in my world. Words "friends" have said to me have rocked me to the core and their words still repeat over and over in my head to this day, even though we are no longer "friends." And those words...hurt..deeply.
So..how do you get yourself over something that someone has said to you? Something that you know in your heart is not true. Is forgiveness the root of that? How do you move on with your life and stop expecting people to do their worst against you because of your fear of repeating the past? How do you trust that the working mother of two that you will meet tomorrow will be the nicest and best friend you will ever have?
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